A New Begining

   In the past this blog has been about stories I am thinking of doing. As of today there is a new path I shall take it on, it shall now be about self promoting me and my current works and the day in and day out struggles a new author, who is a father and is unemployed, has to endure daily. Sure some of you who may read this may be saying 'boring' but, let me assure you, 24 hours in my shoes is anything but that.
   But for today I am going to start slow, i'm not going to 'bore' you with all those petty, mundane experiences a person such as myself has to go through from sun up to sun down. Instead, instead i'm just going to let out a large 'WHOOPIE'. "Whoopie?" you ask, why "whoopie?" Well, because quite frankly I can but more too the point, after 3.5 years of unemployment in the United States of Obama, I finally have recieved some good news. As of August 4th 2012 my first solo book will finally see print.
   So, all of you who read this please, spread the word, past it on your Facebook wall, your works water cooler and any where there is high visability and trafic. August 4th 2012, Knightwatch Press and Michael C. Dick presents
                     WHEN GOOD HOLIDAYS GO BAD: RISE OF THE FIEND
and as a final note to this small entry, anyone in the Northern Virginia area, on August 25th at Porter library in North Stafford Virginia, there will be a local authors book signing from 11-2, please join us. Later in the year, October 7th i believe, i'll be in sunny Buffalo, New York at the Comic Con doing book signings as well....SURE HOPE TO SEE YOU ALL THERE.

Bowie V. Ibarra has done me a great honor.

I blame Freddy Krueger.

And it’s not because I’m a Jason Vorhees fan, either.

I blame Freddy Krueger for making jokes out of horrifying deaths.  And I blame Freddy Krueger for taking the ‘scary’ out of Halloween.

Okay, maybe that’s a bit of a stretch.

There was a time when Bill Cosby would make jokes in his early comedy routines about staying too late at the monster movies and having to walk home in the dark.  One night he knew he was out too long because it was 8pm.  That’s when the monsters came out.  Having spent the day watching the classic werewolf, vampire, and mummy movies, his imagination had been charged with monster mania.

The slashers came and went in the 80s, giving way to the comedic catharsis of Freddy Krueger, cracking a joke while eviscerating one of his victims in his dream deathland.

What happened?  Why the need for humor during a horror movie?

Let’s face it, laughing is good for the soul.  And as far as we can tell, we’re the only species on the planet that can laugh or understand humor the way we do.  The only other animal is the monkey that has been known to play jokes or rough up its friends in a silly manner.  And let’s not forget the YouTube video of the chimp that decided sticking its finger in its butt and smelling it was a good idea before throwing its hands up in the air in melodramatic shock and falling off its tree limb. 

It’s great to have such high-functioning brains.

And yet we humans take the joke a bit further.  Our high-functioning brains can take a ‘smell my finger’ joke just that much further.  I was once in a summer stock theatre show in Palo Duro Canyon many years ago, and there was this guy I’ll just call “Corey’.  Corey enjoyed goosing his friends by sliding his index finger up the pants portion of people’s butt-crack.  And while the people are in the middle of making that silly grunt of a surprise goose, he would stick that same finger under the victim’s nose and say, ‘smell that’.

Ah, yes.  Jokes and the high-functioning brain.

With the evolution of horror movies comes the evolution of humor, too.  We’ve always laughed at things that crack us up, and every individual finds humor in different things.  Mel Brook’s ‘History of the World’ makes light of laughter during the caveman days, where a caveman tries to act silly to no response from the tough crowd.  But when a dinosaur (!) appears and eats the caveman in the middle of his act, the crowd laughs out loud.

The mixing of humor with drama or tragedy is also nothing new.  Shakespeare used to inject humor in the middle of his darkest tragedies like ‘Macbeth’ or ‘Hamlet’.  It added to the peaks and valleys of the story, and was a great way to ease tension before ratcheting it up again.  I used that same convention in my zombie horror story, “Down the Road: On the Last Day” and “Down the Road: The Fall of Austin”, with a duo of characters (two friends in ‘On the Last Day’, and two clownish gang members in ‘The Fall of Austin’) to bring a little levity to the zombie apocalypse.

So just like in horror movies, the old comedies of yesteryear (Keystone Kops, Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello) would elicit barely a chuckle with kids, or adults for that matter, like the shows probably did back in the day.  Humor, like horror, has also evolved and changed over the years.

 And that’s where this lovely humorous tale comes in.  Set in the world of Halloween Hallows, ‘When Good Holidays Go Bad: Rise of the Fiend” is like Goosebumps after an all-night bender.  It’s a good-natured parody of scary monsters of yesteryear with the humorous sensibility of an ‘Airplane’ movie.  It’s like Monty Python ate R.L. Stine and then wrote a book.

You will enjoy the laughs and you will enjoy the characters.  But most of all, you will enjoy the story. 

And you won’t have Freddy Krueger cracking a bad joke after dismembering someone.

So grab your favorite beverage and get ready for a fun read and plenty of chuckles.

Enjoy,

Bowie V. Ibarra

Author of the ‘Down the Road’ zombie horror series

ZombieBloodFights.com

Zombies Are People Too: THE BULLY

     It's been quite awhile since I last posted and to those that follow I'm sorry, been busy working on a series of books titled WHEN GOOD HOLIDAYS GO BAD. The first part of the story is at the editor, the cover art has been designed by the great and imaginative artist named Peter Fussey and hopefully will be in print within the next couple months. In the meantime I also have been kicking around an idea for a childrens series called Zombies are people Too. The shall deal with current problems our kids have to deal with growing up. The first is about bullies and the second about thinking they need to be popular. Below is the outline for the first instalment called ZOMBIES ARE PEOPLE TOO: THE BULLY. Please give it a read and let me know what you think. Not about typos, just the man theme and any ideas on how to improve it. Your comments and critiques have been greatly appreciated in the past and will always be. Enough of my prattling...ENJOY.
Zombies Are People Too: The Bully

     “Good morning class, I would like you all too please welcome Ronald to our class. He just moved here so let’s make him feel welcomed alright!” Mrs. Jenkins the fourth grade teacher announced.

     “Good morning Ronald” some of the students greeted him while others yelled out “nice to meet you” but, out of all the students, two of them remained silent, starring at Ronald from across the room with a mean look on their face; elbowing one another knowingly.
     Ronald sat at his desk in the back of the class and slowly raised his hand and waved in greeting to all the kids who had pleasantly greeted him. As he lowered his hand, the young boy sitting next to him leaned over and whispered “Hey Ronald, stick with me buddy and I’ll show you around, okay?” For an answer Ronald smiled at Michael, the friendly boy, and then turned around to pay attention to the teacher.
     Later that afternoon, during lunch, Michael joined Roland at the lunch table and soon the two boys were talking about some of their hobbies and favorite television shows. As they sat and talked their pleasant conversation was interrupted by a loud, BOOMING, voice “Well, well, well, it looks like little, biddy Mikey finally has a friend, isn’t that sweet” Jay, a much larger boy than either Ronald or Michael teased as he elbowed his friend Todd in the ribs. “What do you think Todd, are there wedding bells in their future?” he continued.
     “BAA, HA, HA, HA and HA” Todd laughed loudly “that’s a good one Jay” he continued much louder than they were supposed to talk in the cafeteria “which one do you think will wear the dress, I’d bet it be Ronald-Ann, his lovely red hair would look so pretty against his pretty white dress. Hey Jay, get a load of that, I don’t know which is redder, his face or his hair” the two boys continued to laugh as, after grabbing both Ronald’s and Michael’s deserts, left.
     The remainder of the day went by miserably slow for the two new friends but eventually, much to their relief, the final bell sounded.
      “Quick Ronald, grab your books and follow me” Michael urged his new friend. Only seconds after the bell sounded both boys were out of their classroom door and weaved their way through the crowded hallway and outside of the school house.
     “What is it Michael, why are we almost running, did I miss something?”
     “Look Ronald, you need to trust me on this okay, just keep moving as quick as you can and as we walk, tell me where you live so I can make sure you get home by the quickest, safest route there is, okay?”
      For an answer Ronald simply nodded that he understood and as they approached the crossing guard they were both forced to stop while they waited for her to come over to help them cross the busy street. As Michael stood waiting he nervously looked over his shoulder back in the direction they had just come and at the school, worse yet, the two bullies, Jay and Todd as they quickly closed the distance in-between them.
     “Oh please, oh please oh please hurry up Ms. Crossing Guard” Michael started to mumble as she slowly crossed from the opposite side of the street to theirs. Before she had made it completely over, Michael took one more fearful look over his shoulder back in the direction of the two bullies then, grabbed Ronald under the arm and stepped out to meet the crossing guard in the street.
     “Now Michael, how many times do I have to tell you, you’re not supposed to step off the curb until I have come completely over” she told him “you’re not setting a very good example for your new friend you know? The next time this happens I’ll be forced to tell the principle who will probably tell your parents” she scolded as she finished walking the two boys to the opposite side of the street just before Jay and Todd had arrived. Safe on the other side of the street Michael took off running again, followed closely by Ronald. Soon the two boys tired but luckily, Michael new a good hiding spot and they hide there until Jay and Todd had past them by.
     “Michael, can you please tell me what that was all about?”
     “Look Ronald, there are some things that you really need to know, the first and most important is, avoid Jay and Todd at all times, especially after school.”
      “Why?” Ronald asked confused.
      “WHY, WHY” Michael shouted then caught himself as he quickly looked out of the bushes they were hiding in to make sure he hadn’t been heard “because those two are the biggest bullies you’ll ever meet. What they did today in lunch was nothing. This one time last year they cornered another new kid during recess and started picking on him. Well the new kid didn’t like it very much and told them to stop and then…” Michael stopped suddenly, too frightened to continue.
      “What? What did they do?” Ronald asked nervously.
      “No one knows he was never seen again.”
      With that both boys crawled out of the bushes and started making their way home again. Two more streets up Ronald suddenly said “Well Michael, this is where I need to turn; my house is five houses up the street. Hey, maybe if you ask your Mom and Dad you can come over and…” he stopped when he saw the frightened look on Michael’s Face. “What is it Michael, what’s wrong?”
     “You…you…you” Michael fought to speak “you live down there?” he finally got out.
     “Yes…why?” Ronald asked worried.
     “That’s the street Jay and Todd live on. Look Ronald, I’ve got to go before my Mom and Dad get worried about where I am, I’ll see you tomorrow in school” he hurriedly said then turned and ran away, waving to Ronald as he did.
     The remainder of the week in school got progressively worse for Ronald but, much to Michael’s relief not for him. Over the last few years Michael had been the target of Jay’s and Todd’s bulling but now there was a new kid to take that abuse. Sure Michael felt bad about it and he stuck by Ronald’s side but still, he didn’t do or say anything to help his new friend when Jay and Todd where mean to him.
     On Tuesday Jay and Todd cornered Ronald on the playground and pushed him off of the swing.
     On Wednesday they tripped Ronald as he was walking in the cafeteria carrying his lunch tray.
     On Thursday they caught up with him only a couple houses away from his own home and knocked him down in a mud puddle.
     Finally, on Friday, the stopped him before he got to school and tore up his homework before throwing it in a puddle of water.
     The weekend finally arrived, much to Ronald’s relief but, he was so sad he didn’t want to get out of bed. At ten o’clock Michael stopped by to see if his friend wanted to come out to play but Ronald’s mom said he was still sleeping. When Michael came by at eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock and lastly one o’clock Ronald’s mom told Michael she thought he was sick and wouldn’t be out the rest of the day. On Sunday, Michael tried again but met with the same result.
     Ronald’s mom was starting to get worried and late in the afternoon on Sunday she sat on the end of Ronald’s bed and tried to find out what was wrong. Ronald just shrugged his shoulders and told her he had a belly ache and he hoped he would be feeling better soon. Ronald’s mom had no idea that he felt so bad because of how bad he had been picked on during the week and she just assumed he was sick because of how he looked. Monday morning Roland trudged to school with Michael eventually catching up.
      “Hey Ronald” Michael called out “are you mad at me about something” he asked.
      “Yes Michael” his sick looking friend replied “you’re supposed to be my friend but as soon as those bullies started picking on me, you were nowhere to be found, why? If we’re friends then you’re supposed to be there for the bad and good times, not just the good, you left me alone…your no better than they are” he said sadly.
      Ashamed Michael just hung his head because he knew he had done wrong but then, his head sprung up and a smile quickly formed “I’ve an idea if you would care to hear it” he asked hopefully.
     “I’m all ears” Ronald said.
     After another day of having to deal with both Jay and Todd’s abuse, Michael staying by Ronald’s side the entire time, the school day ended and Michael and Ronald stayed after to talk with their teacher. After a long and lengthy explanation, making sure not to leave out any details of the suffering they had to deal with, the teacher stood and thanked them for bringing the bulling to her attention; both Michael and Ronald left the school confused that their teacher didn’t say anything else.
      The next morning after saying the Pledge of Allegiance the principle stayed on for a special announcement “Can Todd and Jay please report to my office immediately, thank you.”
      A hush fell over Ronald’s and Michael’s class as Jay and Todd stood up slowly and was escorted to the office by their teacher who returned five minutes later alone. The school day proceeded as usual except deep down in everyone’s mind they wondered ‘What happened to the two bullies?’
     That week went smoothly seeing as the two bullies didn’t return to the class that entire week. Michael and Ronald were so happy about there not being in school that a change seemed to come over both boys. There happiness was forgotten the following Monday when they returned to class to find the two bullies had returned however, they were both unusually quiet until recess.
      As Michael and Ronald played catch suddenly two large shadows fell over them then they were pushed to the ground from behind. Quickly both boys turned over and starred up at the two bullies that loomed over them.
     “We know it was you who told on us and we’re going to make you pay” they said menacingly. As the two ranted and yelled at the two boys on the ground, unknown to them, the rest of the class was slowly gathering around the two bullies, listening to the threats they were making.
     They yelled and screamed and kicked dirt at the two boys for almost a minute until at last three of their classmates stepped forward and shouted to be heard as far away as the classroom “You better knock it off Jay and Todd or we’re going to tell your mother’s, the principle and the teacher.”
      “Oh yeah?” Todd and Jay yelled spinning around only to be starring at the entire classroom confronting them.
     “Yeah!” they said
     “Yeah!” Two more voices joined the class as Michael and Ronald stood up and confronted the bullies.
      “Yeah!” two other voices said. As Todd and Jay turned to confront the two additional voices they were stunned to see the principle and the teacher outside watching the two boys bulling first hand. “Well boys I had hoped that giving you some time off from school might have changed your ways but I guess I was wrong. Head to my office, we’re going to have another meeting with your parents again.”
      “No not that!” both bullies started to cry “we promise we’ll never do this again if you don’t call them, please we’ll do anything you say” they begged.
      Michael and Ronald both stood there and looked at one another “Sir” Michael said.
      “Yes Michael?”
      “Ronald and I were wondering if Jay and Todd promise not to do any more bulling do you think that maybe you don’t have to call their parents.”
       “I don’t know Michael you see that even though their parents knew about it before they still did it again.”
      “Maybe they did it just because they were mad. Todd…Jay, if the principle doesn’t call your parents are you going to stop picking on everyone?”
      “YES!” the yelled in unison. “Thank you, thank you both” they cried further.
      “Alright” the principle said “but if I hear anything more about you two bulling I will call your parents, now everyone, back to class.”
      The remainder of that day a strange transformation took place with both Michael and Ronald. They felt truly happy for what they had done and a huge burden seemed to lift off their shoulders and, the nice thing about everything that had happened, Todd, Michael, Jay and Ronald became really good friends.

Prelude

Somewhere out in the furthest reaches of space, lost amongst the billions of stars, a war raged on. For centuries the combatants have clashed, both sides suffering huge losses with no end in sight to the hostilities. Both have suffered casualties in the millions, decimating their races, leaving them on the very edge of extinction. Because of this both sides have come up with new and inventive ways to help preserve their race, to heal those that have been wounded in the field.

Medical transport ships rush in and out of the battle zone, winding their way through the constant barrage of fire, picking up both wounded and dead solders, and transporting them back to safety, health and new life.

The medical wing in the transport ship is no longer equipped with doctors but, billions of microscopic, genetically altered bacteria, created to bind to the wounds of soldiers, instantly restoring their damaged tissue. If the solder is dead then they are brought back to a semblance of life, and if wounded the wounds are healed. This way the solder can return to battle quicker, providing an endless supply of solders to help win the ongoing war.

As a full transport ship leaves the area of combat an empty one, loaded with the microscopic spores starts its journey into the war zone. The pilot’s reflexes are not as fast as they should be, dulled by lack of sleep, and from being constantly on edge. This leaving the ship exposed to a damaging shot which hit it broadside, killing the crew and sending the ship spiraling out of control, far from the battle area.

So it drifts, lifeless, for hundreds of years while inside the alien microbes continue to fester and grow until the ship’s compartments are a single red mass, visible now to the naked eye; still the ship floats aimlessly through space.

In time it reaches the outer planets of a strange solar system, getting pulled into the gravitational pull of an asteroid belt where it is relentlessly pummeled by rocks of various sizes, weakening the integrity of the ships outer haul.

An asteroid, much larger than the others, rams into the side of the craft, allowing it to finally break free and continue on its journey.

Years continue to pass and the ships haul starts to rot, further weakening the stability of the craft. Finally its aimless journey brings it into the gravitational pull of a bright blue and green planet where its speed starts to increase. As the ship is pulled closer to the planet it hits the upper atmosphere and quickly heats up, breaking apart, and burns as it plummets downwards; all that is but one piece.

The medical bay in the craft has a thicker shell and because of this it has survived most of the journey through the atmosphere.

Burning red hot it hits the fridge upper air currents and starts to crack from the extreme drop in temperature until it reaches a quarter of a mile from the surface of the planet where it suddenly explodes, sending billions and billions of microbes floating down on the unsuspecting inhabitants of Earth.

So it has begins…..

The Gray Men Haiku

The Little Gray Men

Have come for me yet again

Ass just stopped hurting

I shed lots of tears

When they stick things up there

Forgot Lubricant

I don’t think I’d mind

If they would wine and dine me

Before bad touching

It started way back

When I turned twenty one

I drank lots of beer

I was really drunk

Sleeping, Nope but I passed out

They showed up that night

Not really sure why

But they took a shine to me

Really wish they hadn’t

I was innocent

It wasn’t something I said

Must have liked my ass

When I first woke up

I thought it was all a prank

Oh boy was I wrong

Strapped to a table

Showing off my birthday suit

To a bunch of perv’s

Immediately

All I thought of was my porn

Now I was the star

Gizmos, Contraptions

The Gray bastards had it all

And they used it too

My screams were very loud

Did I say how loud I screamed?

They were very, very loud

Screaming no problem

It didn’t hurt their drums

They had none to hurt

Eventually

The poking and prodding

Thankfully ended

The next thing I knew

I was back in my own home

Sleeping next to mom?

Mom woke up screaming

Thinking I was some pervert

Got smacked lots of times

In between the hits

I tried to explain to her

Only made it worse

“Abducted” I screamed

By perverted Little Gray Men

“You’re plastered” she said

“Well yes” I sputtered

But that’s beside the point

I showed her my ass

The proof was all there

Take a gander at this then

Now I’m out on it

Mom thinks I’m a perv

Disowned by my family

My ass still hurts bad

Bigger problems now

Men in Black are following

Got to say, “Nice suits”

Government agents

Are tracking my every move

Not easy to get lost

One time they grabbed me

Gentler then the Gray Men

Still not very nice

Spent some time with them

Asked question after question

Gray Men friendlier

Dropped me off at home

Said I no longer live here

As stupid as Gray Men

Retreated from there

Wouldn’t do to have mom see

Would yell nasty things

Eventually

Made it to my apartment

Thought I would be safe

Always I am wrong

I was safe for a while

They are persistent

They found me at last

After six months had passed

Her I go again

A flash of bright light

Second meeting no better

Still bad touching

This is something new

Sticking things up my nose

I’m really ticklish

I laughed so hard

I jar their probe into my brain

I’m not laughing now

Boy that hurt like hell

Strangely they seem very pleased

Time to get sent home

Wrong home once again

Quickly make my get away

Before mom wakes up

That is my story

As strange and weird as it sounds

Sure wish it wasn’t

Now I sit and wait

Three to six months they come back

Their still being rude

Really don’t know why

I’m not that interesting

Got to be the ass

So if you get drunk

And if you see a bright light

Run the other way

Or you might be next

At getting an anal probe

That’s not very fun

The Gray Men don’t care

Long as you’ve got a hole down there

Virgin rear beware

Advice

Everyday as the moon rises over what is left of our world, shinning its pale light reflect off of broken windows and burnt out buildings, I rise up on stiff and cramped limbs, my entire body sore from whatever shelter I could find during the day to sleep in.

   As I attempt to walk the stiffness out of my joints and bones, I try to find some type of reflective surface so I can look into in and try to convince myself that all is not yet lost.

   I stand before it staring back at myself and repeat a mantra to help build up my ever decreasing confidence.

   It is a ritual of sorts that I have come to rely on and it helps me to see past all the negative shit that has happened to me and so many hundreds of others over the past few weeks.

I am whole in mind and body, or as much as I can be.

I am kind and not a killer or I shall try to be to the best of my abilities.

I am beautiful, or at least I hope I am.

I shall not become like the hundreds that have gone before me.

I WILL retain my self worth.

I Will avoid peer pressure; just because everyone else is doing it does not make it right.

I am whole in mind, body and spirit.

I AM ME and I AM.

   No I am not a new age freak nor am I a hippy. I know it sounds hokey and corny as all hell but now a days a person needs all the help they can get to kept an upbeat, can do attitude.

   As I said, or maybe I didn’t, but in this day and age the world has changed and I’m not talking small changes either. There is too much senseless killing and destruction happening daily that in order to maintain your humanity and not become one of those who kill just to kill you have to do what you can to hold onto your last shred of decency.

   The biggest problem we face today is the solitude, that lack of human contact and interaction. Sure we still gather in small to larger groups periodically but when it happens it’s out of a need, usually to look for food.

   Its times like these that peer pressure starts and becomes too hard to ignore, to fight but you must otherwise those feelings become ever increasing urges that the group mentality help reinforce.

   So over all I just try hard to avoid those little social gatherings and go out on my own. Not only does it limit the temptation to do the wrong thing, it’s also a lot safer. When there is just me I am able to go about searching for food on my own schedule and stay on guard to make sure no one is not sneaking up on me.

   When you’re with a group it tends to be a lot more noisy and chaotic and you’re just asking for trouble because noise attracts attention and that’s something we defiantly don’t want.

   Who needs that headache, you know what I mean. It’s not hard finding food because there are plenty of people still wandering around the city. But I refuse to go that route and I’m trying to stay the course and retain some of my humanity and I’m hoping that I’m leading a good example to the others.

   I have not seen or witnessed anyone else with the same social and moral struggles that I am having but I do know that the others see that I’m not participating in there brutal savagery of flesh tearing and brain eating and there just glad that there is one less to fight with to get a handful of flesh or organ.

   I hope daily that when they see this it might spark a glimmer of recognition deep down inside them and maybe, just maybe, that could help bring them back just a little bit at a time.

   But there lifestyle is not for me thank you very much, I’ll find my source of daily nutrition elsewhere. There are plenty of small animals or rodents still around: problem is there a lot quicker than I am, so more often than not I am forced to feed upon the remains of someone else’s feast.

   Oh not to have a conscience!

   This usually doesn’t allow for much food but you’re guaranteed at least something. My brethren are pretty mess eaters and not to thorough while eating. So there is usually some meat on the bone and if worse came to worse I could always suck the marrow from them.

   Sure I'm left feeling somewhat disgusted with myself but I have to eat and it’s not like I’m the one who killed them. I try to think of it as road kill and this way I can still sleep at night and look at myself in the morning.

   I’ve adapted well to my new life style, better than most, but it hasn’t been easy. Day to day it’s a struggle to stay alive and try to maintain some level of humanity.

   But I didn’t always want to think or behave as I do now. In the beginning I was out for blood, literally. I was pissed at the media and government because I thought this was some kind of biological cock up by our military and I thought the media was in on the cover up.

   After me and a bunch of others attacked the television station I realized what I had done and as I looked on at the others eating there grotesque feast I realized I had a choice and free will still even if the others didn’t.

   I stood and stared and thought to myself; what good would it do me to seek out revenge because of some half baked theory I had. The facts were it could do me no good and would only better my chances at being killed, but for good this time.

   It was at this point I realized that I needed to walk the path I now walk.

 I remember quite a lot of my life before I died and I ask myself  could that crazy chanting I did actually have worked, is that why I am like I am? I don’t know and I suspect I probably never will, but I have come to accept it an as disgusting as it is it beats the hell out of either being truly dead, like one of my brethren or like the food the hunt, humans.

   Speaking of which, I would still like to find my ex and give her that hug for teaching me that chanting shit, but I’m sure some one else already beat me to it.

   So, if anyone ever finds this, and they are like I am then take my advice and try repeating my mantra or at least something like it so you can keep an upbeat feeling about yourself and life in general.

   Also, try and stay out of the sun as much as humanly possible; its effects are horrible on your skin.

   Don’t give into peer pressure; lead the pack don’t be led and for god sake keep your head down, those bullets are a bitch.