A Letter to the Editor

   I take it upon myself; my brethren can neither read nor write, to ask, no demand an apology from you. In Tuesday’s editorial you commented on and made some rather derogatory remarks that highly offend my sensibilities. To lump us in one large group as you did demeans everything we have strived to accomplish over the course of the last year. In doing so you may as well have lumped the dinosaurs all together saying they were all carnivorous and as we know they were not. 
   Yes it is true that some of my brethren would gladly eat your flesh or slurp up your large intestine like a really long spaghetti noodle but there are those of us who would not. As for me give me a nice plate of leafy
greens or some tofu and I would be set for the day.
   You also mentioned in your editorial that we all look the same and I suppose on some level we do. Decaying flesh, rotten teeth, ripped and holey clothes, hair falling out and bits of us missing but let me assure you there are differences you just need to take a moment and look closer.
   For example the eyes pretty much can tell you everything you need to know. If they have a glazed far away stare to them then you probably want to avoid them and if that don’t help well they are usually covered in dried blood while us who don’t see you as cattle are not. 
   Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.

                                                                                                                                                                Yours Truly,

                                                                                                                                                                Ted the Zombie