Monday, August 29, 2011

The Gray Men Haiku

The Little Gray Men
Have come for me yet again
Ass just stopped hurting

I shed lots of tears
When they stick things up there
Forgot Lubricant

I don’t think I’d mind
If they would wine and dine me
Before bad touching

It started way back
When I turned twenty one
I drank lots of beer

I was really drunk
Sleeping, Nope but I passed out
They showed up that night

Not really sure why
But they took a shine to me
Really wish they hadn’t

I was innocent
It wasn’t something I said
Must have liked my ass

When I first woke up
I thought it was all a prank
Oh boy was I wrong

Strapped to a table
Showing off my birthday suit
To a bunch of perv’s

All I thought of was my porn
Now I was the star

Gizmos, Contraptions
The Gray bastards had it all
And they used it too

My screams were very loud
Did I say how loud I screamed?
They were very, very loud

Screaming no problem
It didn’t hurt their drums
They had none to hurt

The poking and prodding
Thankfully ended

The next thing I knew
I was back in my own home
Sleeping next to mom?

Mom woke up screaming
Thinking I was some pervert
Got smacked lots of times

In between the hits
I tried to explain to her
Only made it worse

“Abducted” I screamed
By perverted Little Gray Men
“You’re plastered” she said

“Well yes” I sputtered
But that’s beside the point
I showed her my ass

The proof was all there
Take a gander at this then
Now I’m out on it

Mom thinks I’m a perv
Disowned by my family
My ass still hurts bad

Bigger problems now
Men in Black are following
Got to say, “Nice suits”

Government agents
Are tracking my every move
Not easy to get lost

One time they grabbed me
Gentler then the Gray Men
Still not very nice

Spent some time with them
Asked question after question
Gray Men friendlier

Dropped me off at home
Said I no longer live here
As stupid as Gray Men

Retreated from there
Wouldn’t do to have mom see
Would yell nasty things

Made it to my apartment
Thought I would be safe

Always I am wrong
I was safe for a while
They are persistent

They found me at last
After six months had passed
Her I go again

A flash of bright light
Second meeting no better
Still bad touching

This is something new
Sticking things up my nose
I’m really ticklish

I laughed so hard
I jar their probe into my brain
I’m not laughing now

Boy that hurt like hell
Strangely they seem very pleased
Time to get sent home

Wrong home once again
Quickly make my get away
Before mom wakes up

That is my story
As strange and weird as it sounds
Sure wish it wasn’t

Now I sit and wait
Three to six months they come back
Their still being rude

Really don’t know why
I’m not that interesting
Got to be the ass

So if you get drunk
And if you see a bright light
Run the other way

Or you might be next
At getting an anal probe
That’s not very fun

The Gray Men don’t care
Long as you’ve got a hole down there
Virgin rear beware

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